/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

My husband divorced me so he could run away with a girl he had been shagging while I was at work

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"After watering the plants, I need you to come to me to talk about something I saw in your phone," the wife told her husband.

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New for fall/winter 2020 - features include increased connectivity, a strengthened lipid-protein shell and up to 500 hours longer life on hard surfaces!

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Confucius say,

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Mary has a little lamb

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I love bacon so much that I eat it 3-4 times a day.

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IMA END MY FUKIN LIFE WITH THE CHESE K BITCH NSFW

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Before quarantine I bought a white Cate so I wouldn't be lonely.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My husband divorced me so he could run away with a girl he had been shagging while I was at work	1
"After watering the plants, I need you to come to me to talk about something I saw in your phone," the wife told her husband.	1
New for fall/winter 2020 - features include increased connectivity, a strengthened lipid-protein shell and up to 500 hours longer life on hard surfaces!	1
Confucius say,	1
Mary has a little lamb	1
I love bacon so much that I eat it 3-4 times a day.	1
IMA END MY FUKIN LIFE WITH THE CHESE K BITCH NSFW	1
Why did the chicken cross the road?	1
Why did the chicken cross the road?	1
Before quarantine I bought a white Cate so I wouldn't be lonely.	1